By Burt Goldman/ Creator of Quantum Jumping
You know when you're happy, and certainly no one has to tell you when you're sad. But what is it that makes a person happy?
It is important to realize that what makes you happy might depress another person. There are people, because of guilt, a feeling they do not deserve what they have, or a feeling they will lose what they have that makes them unhappy when they should be happy.
Possessions are a poor measure of happiness. Possessions are subjective and relative to the individual and the individual's viewpoint. Instead, we will use a philosophy as an example.
This philosophy is about enjoying things you like, avoiding or changing things you do not like, and accepting what you cannot avoid or change by the skillful use of your viewpoint. The use of this philosophy, as embodied in the five rules, will allow you to test many problem areas in your life and find solutions. With this philosophy, you will be well on your way on your pursuit of happiness.
Rule Number One: If You Like a Thing, Enjoy It.
Now that seems outrageously simple. At first you might say, "That's ridiculous, of course if I like something I'm going to enjoy it." But when you stop to think about it you'll probably agree that there are many things in life that we like but don't enjoy. The reasons we don't enjoy things we like are (a) guilt, and (b) fear. You will not enjoy something you like if you feel guilty after having done the thing, or if you are fearful of the consequences of doing it.
Rule Number Two: If You Don't Like a Thing, Avoid It.
The second rule seems simple enough, but reflect for a moment on how many people are involved with things they do not like — a job, a person, a vehicle, a type of food, any one of a thousand things — and for some reason they don't avoid those things. "Well, I can't avoid it. I have to work there because I need the money." Or, "I have to be involved with this person for many valid reasons." How many justifications can you think of for not avoiding the things you do not like to do?
Rule Number Three: If You Don't Like a Thing, and You Cannot Avoid It, Change It.
Here again, the answer is simple: change it. But just as in avoidance we rationalize that we need something about it — the money, the time, the security — something is holding you to that particular thing if you don't like it, cannot avoid it, won't change it, but are still involved with it.
Rule Number Four: If You Don't Like a Thing, Cannot Avoid It, and Cannot or will Not Change It, Accept It.
Acceptance — now there is a catch. How can you accept something you don't like? How in the world do you accept something that is 'unacceptable' ? How do you accept a situation that you're not happy with? How do you accept a person that you're not happy with? Well, you really don't have to accept anything; you can, of course, be unhappy. If you don't like it, won't change it, cannot avoid it, and will not accept it, I guarantee that you will be unhappy. There are, however, five rules to the secret of happiness, and within the fifth lies the key.
Rule Number Five: You Accept a Thing By Changing Your Attitude Towards It.
You are the result of your viewpoints and attitudes. Everything is relative to the person experiencing it. There are no absolutes — nothing is good, nothing bad, except as it relates to you. Nor is life good or bad. Life simply is. You change those things you wish by changing your viewpoint about them.
How easy!
How difficult!
Your attitudes and viewpoints are all part of your mind and once you develop the power of self mind control you will be the master of your own attitudes and viewpoints. Using these five rules you'll soon find yourself on the right path on the pursuit of happiness. You'll realize why people are unhappy. Eventually it will become automatic, and you'll find happiness a predominant state of mind. Once you realize the ease of acquiring this emotion, you develop an entirely new scale of highs and lows.
Unremitting happiness, of course, is not a possible or desirable state. According to the principle of rhythm, there is always an inflow and outflow, an ebb tide and a flood tide. You'll always have highs and lows — there's no way to avoid that. However, your highs will be higher and your lows will be higher. You'll then find that what is a happy state for you might be a state of depression for someone unaware of the Five Rules of Happiness.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
The Four Agreements –Don Miguel Ruiz's Code for Life
Agreement 1
Be impeccable with your word Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
Agreement 2
Don’t take anything personally Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
Agreement 3
Don’t make assumptions - Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life
Agreement 4
Always do your best - Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
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